


The Path of Grey

by RosalindTrevelyan



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Force Ghosts, Mild Blood, Past Abuse, Past Slavery, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 01:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12738552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosalindTrevelyan/pseuds/RosalindTrevelyan
Summary: Selitra is a survivor of Kylo Ren's attack on the Jedi temple. After the destruction of everything she knew she ran to the only person she could trust. Now working for General Organa she serves the Rebellion as she tries to forget her past in the only way she knows how, fighting and drinking.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in a long time so I'm sorry if this isn't very good. I'll be adding to this hopefully pretty regularly, and would welcome feedback or just let me know if you have anything you really want to see. I'm going to add more tags after the later chapters add more people and such.

This wasn’t the worst job Selitra’s ever had. In fact, dancing in some backwater cantina in the Outer Rim had its perks, mostly in the form of free booze and great tips and all for just swaying along to music in a skimpy costume. It was defiantly by far the easiest mission the Rebellion had sent her on in years. No one to track down, or kill, she didn’t even have steal anything. All she had to do was keep an eye on a slicer working for some Hutts and make sure he didn’t do anything stupid and get himself shot before she could learn enough about him to see if he could be a potential recruit. After the destruction of the Starkiller base rebel recruitment had spiked, but some positions were harder to fill than others. So here she was watching him drink alone at the bar just like he did most nights. His name was Zakdi, he was a Mirialan, but that much was obvious from the leaf green skin and the geometric tattoos decorating his cheeks and chin, and he was only a few years older than Selitra, but he was already widely known for his skills getting into even the most secured databases. This is why the Rebellion wanted him, to slice the First Order’s systems to help them find their remaining bases. He blended in quite well since this part of the city was mostly aliens, although he was the only Mirialan at this particular cantina. Selitra was one of only two or three humans present, but the slave brand across her left shoulder blade kept most people from questioning how she ended up here. They all assumed she was owned by the Hutts that owned the cantina, which wasn’t true of course, but letting people believe whatever they want made her life much easier. Tonight was winding up like almost every other night for a least a two dozen cycles, dance, watch, follow her mark home, repeat, and as the early hours of morning creeping closer she would be done working for the night. 

As Selitra slipped in to the backroom to change in to here street clothes, she took a quick peak towards the bar to make she Zakdi wasn’t going to leave, but he just ordered another drink. He had quite a few tonight, several more than normal. She sent a silent prayer that nothing happened to disrupt her plans when she was so close to approaching him. She changed as quickly as she could and returned to the bar signaling to the bartender to bring her usual before settling a seat away from Zakdi. As she glanced at him she noticed he had been looking in her direction so she flashed the brightest smile she could muster, drawing thick plum painted lips back enough so her cheeks dimpled. It wasn’t the normal smile she used on marks, those were usually sultry meant to lure, where this was one that made her look younger and innocent. His eyes widen a bit before returning it with a deep green flush spreading across his sharp cheekbones. She took a sip of the drink the bartender placed in front of her, thinking might as well take advantage of this lovely opportunity.

“Selitra,” She said as she extended her hand towards him. “You’re Zakdi right? You work in the back?”  
He nodded taking her hand, “Call me Zak.” His hand was warm and calloused, more than a normal slicer’s would be. They seemed more like the hands of someone would spent their time fighting with close combat weapons, her own hands hand similar ones from her quarterstaff. 

“Pleasure to meet you Zak,” She smiled at him again as she downed the last of her drink, “It’s getting pretty late I should probably head out.” Just an introduction, didn’t want to scare him off by being to forward. People in his line work were too suspicious of new people, anyone could be someone he stole from or looking to use his skills, and to be fair she was definitely a part of the latter group. 

He nodded, finished off his drink and mumbled, “I should probably call it a night anyway.” But as he stood he started to sway and Selitra had to grab a hold of his jacket to keep him upright.

“Whoa there, big guy,” And he was big. He was a head taller than her and much broader, and she was no small woman, keeping him up was not an easy task. No way would he make it home in one piece in this part of the city, muggers would see him as an easy target and they weren’t known for leaving witnesses alive. Keeping him safe had been easy so far, so one night walking him home wouldn’t be that much of an effort.

“I think you need some help getting home, yea? I can take you if you need it.” Offer, but don’t push. She needed his trust, and helping him out is a good start to earning it. He stared at her for a moment before nodding mutely, so she slung his arm across his shoulder and turned him towards the door as he stumbled alongside of her. It was going to be a slow going in this state.

“I’m gunna need you to direct me, ok big guy?” She didn’t really, but telling someone you follow them home every night would creep anyone out. Add in that she rented out an apartment across the street from him and a few floors up from him so she could keep an eye on his activities and she was officially a stalker. A professional stalker for the Rebellion maybe, but a stalker nevertheless.

“I live down in the slums,” The cold burst of air as they stepped outside made Selitra shiver as she turned left heading for the slums down by the space port. Cheap rent with no background checks made it a haven for criminals and illegal immigrants alike. “Across from the scrap yard.”

“Easy enough.” She was right about one thing, this was taking forever. He was slow and just stumbled if she tried to hurry him up, and Selitra’s skin was starting to crawl being out in the open for so long. Her fingers twitched where they were wrapped around his wrist itching for a weapon that wasn’t there, instead it was safely tucked away under her bunk. I quarterstaff was not the weapon of a dancer, so to keep her cover all she had on her was a small vibroblade tucked into her boot. She’d even take a blaster at this point, not that she really needed a weapon to defend herself, but having one drew less attention from people she rather go unnoticed by.

Finally, with no incident, Selitra managed to drag him back to his home and up a flight of stairs, thanking the ancestors that he only lived on the second floor. Zakdi fumbled to pull out a grey card out of his pants pocket and swiped the key card on the pad next to the door and the it promptly opened. Pushing with her shoulder Selitra managed to get him inside where he immediately faceplanted his bunk and started snoring. She glared at the back of his head, he was too trusting, and it was going to get him killed, and then she would be back to searching the Outer Rim for another passable slicer. Sighing she let herself out making sure the door locked behind her, she didn’t drag him all this way to let in some murderer to off him in the night. 

She slipped across the street to her own room and ran up the stairs and let herself in. Once inside she peaked out her window to make sure Zakdi was where she left him before letting herself relax. Sleep was not Selitra’s friend so instead she settled herself in the middle of the floor, crossed her legs and let her mind empty, just like Master Skywalker had taught her. She opened her mind to the force and herself slip into it following its paths connecting all living things. Selitra found herself doing this lot lately, when she was younger and still at the Jedi temple she never saw the point. The clarity had never come easy to her, so distracted by all the trivial things, students to spar with, holocrons to study, even learning the basic things she missed out growing up a slave like mathematics and history. 

When Ben had turned on the other students and their master, Selitra had been off in the jungle completing one of her trials to become a full Jedi. She had been fast asleep instead of being there to help her people. She had awoken suddenly bolting upright on her sleeping bag in time to feel the force inside of them flicker out, one by one, her cries shattering the night’s silence. It was the first time she could truly feel everything through the force, ironically it took everything she loved to be taken away from her to truly become a Jedi. Not that she considered herself one anymore. When Master Skywalker abandoned her to his self-imposed exile she lost what little faith she had left and gave up her life of service.

Selitra pulled herself away from wallowing in the past, it was easier to just forget about her old life and throw herself into her work for the rebellion, and if that didn’t work she’d find herself at the bottom of a bottle until she was numb enough to keep going. Trying once more to clear her mind, Selitra tried to forget herself in the force buzzing all around and through people, flora, and fauna. Even this backwater planet was full of life, and she let the hum of it all soothe her weary mind. Sometime later she felt a tug pulling at her consciousness, trying to drag her across the stars away from her body. There was only one being whose soul knew hers well enough to find it anywhere she went and to call out to her. Normally she would cut herself off and not let herself go, but the pain laced through the call made her gut clench and she gave in, letting herself get pulled away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you folks think, or if their is any mistakes or something doesn't make sense.

When Kylo awoke he knew he wasn’t alone in the Medcenter any longer. He let his head fall to the side ignoring the pain that shot through his face that the movement caused, and there she was. The ethereal blue figure sat primly on the counter across the room, her feet swaying gently to some unknown rhythm, her eyes trained on the floor. If he was her, he wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye either. He was a monster, and a coward, and she had been his greatest weakness. Kylo didn’t know why, but every time she came to him she was wearing what he saw her in last, a white sleep shift that contrasted with her spice colored skin in the best way. She had been asleep next to him, her face lacking the usual frown she wore when she was awake, finally free from the burdens she carried. He had woken early to see to his plans leaving her alone in the shack where they had spent the night, as he observed her completing her Jedi trials. He was a coward because he had drugged her in a pathetic attempt to keep her safe while he carried out Snoke’s orders. It hadn’t worked but thankfully she had been too far from the temple to interfere, and he knew he would never have been able to strike her down if she came to their defense. By the time he returned for her she had fled, and he had been unable to find her. Kylo had never seen her again, at least not alive, but he had felt the moment she took her own life unable to cope with what he had done. Her ghost always came to him in his weakest moments, but even in betrayal and death she never mocked him, only listened to him as he seethed and confessed his insecurities. She rarely ever spoke to him which made him wonder if it really was an echo of her in the force or just an image from his broken mind trying to bring back the one thing he wanted most. 

“Why are you here? Have you come to watch me fail? To see me writhe in pain? Beaten by a mere child with the lightsaber I deserved!” His voice rose with each accusation, until the pain in his side became too much and he was left panting in the silence. He squeezed his eyes close trying to use his pain and rage to give him strength to get out of this cursed bed, but then he heard her voice and his eyes shot open, captivating by the most beautiful sound in the galaxy.

“You called me.” She said quietly as she slid delicately to the floor, padding towards him weight on the balls of her feet like the fighter she was trained to be since childhood. “You let your guard down and called out to me.” Her hair slid over her marred shoulder as she leaned over his bed, and although like this it held no color he could remember the inky black locks just as dark as his own. He could remember the feel of the silken tresses sliding through his fingers as she lie next to him in his bed.

“I am weak,” he spit, “And my punishment is you and your never ending torment.” Her eyes grew soft as she traced a line down the burn marring his face. Kylo half convinced himself he could feel her fingertips, calloused and warm, gently checking his wounds.

“Ben,” He flinched despite her gentle tone, “I’m here because that’s what you wanted, if you choose to torment yourself I cannot be blamed for that.” Her head snapped up and looked towards the door, and he heard it, footsteps coming towards them. She had begun to turn away, ready to leave him.

“Selitra, my love,” Kylo got no further in his pleas before she spun to face him, eyes burning with rage.

“You lost the right to call me that, Ben Solo. You lost that right when you destroyed me, when you killed our fellow padawans, when you killed our child.” The last line was growled between clenched teeth as she pressed a hand over her abdomen where their unborn child had been growing.

“I didn’t know” he begged, as he dragged himself up from the infirmary bed. He felt the wound on his side reopen, the blood quickly soaking trough his bandages. Stumbling on weakened legs he crashed down to his knees on the cold durasteel floor, “I would have never given it to you if I knew” Still he tried to scramble to where she stood. He hadn’t known she was with child, and he hadn’t known the sedatives he gave her could cause her to lose it. Kylo had felt her pain as his own though, as it ripped through her abdomen and the bleeding started, he had felt her screaming through the force while he remained helpless planets away.

“You chose this path, everything that has happened because of that is your fault.” The door opened before she could contiune, and the medical team rushed over to help Kylo back to bed, but he couldn’t drag his eyes ways from her as she watched the people running around her, unable to see her without being force sensitive. Someone scoffed in the door way drawing his attention. Hux stood disapprovingly watching him get hauled to his bed once more.

“Try not to die before we deliver you to Supreme Leader Snoke. If you wouldn’t be so stubborn and would just get in the Bacta tank already you would have recovered by now.” Hux’s nose wrinkled as the medic changed the bandages on Kylo’s side once again. He was right although Kylo would never admit it. It had been weeks since the battle at Starkiller base but his attempts to keep training, to use the pain, had caused the wounds to reopen repeatedly. Even the force couldn’t keep him going with the constant blood loss. The added humiliation fueled Kylo’s anger, and he felt his power lash out, throwing the one of the medics into the far wall near Selitra. She crouched over the fallen body checking for signs of life he assumed. Seemingly satisfied she walked from her spot. She began to circle Hux trailing slender fingers over the back of his neck causing him to shiver, which seemed to delight her. Kylo couldn’t blame her, being dead must being dreadfully dull if no one could see you and yet you couldn’t just go away.

“Stop your pathetic games,” Hux snapped at him coming to the conclusion that despite not being able to stand on his own two feet Kylo somehow could still call upon the force for something as childish as giving the General goose bumps. It was a pretty safe assumption to be fair.  
“If that was me your windpipe would be crushed,” Kylo managed to growl over the remaining medic’s shoulder, the third having gone to tend to the one he threw. Hux glared at him over the datapad he took from his assistant beside him. Apparently done bandaging him the medic helped him lie back on the bed once more. Selitra continued to stand behind Hux, stretching onto her tip toes trying to observe whatever he was typing away on the pad and huffing when she couldn’t make herself tall enough to get a glimpse over his shoulders. Hux glanced over his shoulder frowning, but ultimately seeing nothing, and returning to his work. Curious, it seemed that the General was sensitive to the force even if it was weak.

“We will be arriving shortly, so I expect you to let the medical team do as they see fit to optimize you care, no arguments.” The one closest to him injected Kylo before he could object, and he felt the effects immediately as his eyelids grew heavy and sleep tugged at his consciousness. Selitra returned to his side, and as he drifted off he could hear her humming the lullaby she used to sing to the younger padawans before everything went black.


End file.
